Open Letter to My Pre-TTC Self.

Hey, you.

Yes, you!

The "you" before infertility knocked you off your feet.

The "you" who never imagined spending most of her twenties cycling through different fertility medications, failed IUIs, and cycle monitoring.

The "you" before her body was constantly drained from the influx of hormones coursing through her body.

I am talking about the little girl who has always dreamed of having a fairytale wedding, four kids, a wrap-around white porch, and marrying prince charming.

You always dreamed motherhood would come to you wrapped in a perfect pink or blue bow. Only then would your dream be tied with a ribbon to your happiness.

You never imagined the hurt you would feel after every negative test or the feeling of fear when you hear the word "infertility."

Now, listen.

Some days you'll be extra sad, and some days, you won't leave your bed.

There will be moments when you don't want to go into the fertility clinic. There will be moments when you feel like all eyes are on you. But do you want to know the brightside?

You ended up marrying prince charming. He is your rock throughout this entire process. He lets you grip his hand a little tighter when walking through the hospital's automatic doors. He's your moral support when you go to the supermarket discreetly picking out ovulation kits, and those oh-so-familiar First Response Early Result Pregnancy Tests just in case this is the month everything changes. I promise you; he keeps you sane. Throughout all the trials and tribulations, you face in your future, you have someone undoubtedly in your corner.

I want to tell you something else.

Don't lose hope.

Don't lose faith.

Your rainbow baby will come soon enough. Trust me, I understand the waiting process is agonizing. I also know times will get tough, and you will want to quit, but the outcome will be beautiful.

Hug yourself a little tighter, and practice more self-care.

Remind yourself you can carry a baby, and your body is beautiful and built for this. You are stronger than you think.

Your future self will thank you.

I will thank you.